at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
