So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There's always time for handjobs
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
