I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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