I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
