why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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