There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
