Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
