im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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