3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
