Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
