That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
