You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
