Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
