there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
