i permit you to call me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
