youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
