Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
