Too much gin, very little bucket
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
