So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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