The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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