Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
