So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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