I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
