Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
