So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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