Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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