I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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