I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
