a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
