did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
