my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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