all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
