I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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