everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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