I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
