david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
