she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
