Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
