Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
