Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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