And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
