Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
