so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
