this boner is exhausting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
