I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
