ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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