Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
