now i know why i became what i already was.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
