we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
