just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
