I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
