So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Oh god it's open bar.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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