I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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