I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
